Um, hello, because he’s full of surprises, and even when the chips are down, he doesn’t give up - and that, to me, is truly inspirational.
Oh, what’s that? A giant monster made of smog is hellbent on polluting the earth, and all of a sudden, becomes AIRBORNE to make his escape?! Yeah, well, he ain’t getting far. Why? Because Godzilla turns himself into a fucking ROCKET SHIP and gives chase.
Hmm? Say that again? A giant, insect god is sent out by an underground civilization to wreak havoc on the people of earth, and Godzilla, along with his robot pal, are unable to stop it because the “same old” moves just aren’t cutting it? "PISS ON THAT" says Godzilla, as he reaches into his bag of tricks and fucking unleashes a move that DEFIES FUCKING GRAVITY
SUCK MY DICK.
Lemme get this straight… a bunch of scummy-ass space apes send a motherfucking ROBOT Godzilla to earth disguised as the REAL Godzilla to take over the world and tarnish Godzilla’s good name?!
"Yeah, no. OFF WITH THAT BITCH’S HEAD" Godzilla yells, as he lays the SMACKDOWN on this rusty-ass, metallic cretin.
GET. FUCKING. BENT.
On top of all that, he’s a good-ass dad,
he’s good at sports,
he eats his vegetables,
and he can fucking dance.
Is there anything this motherfucker CAN’T do?
Sometimes life is just one shit after another.
You wake up and step off your bed only to step in an immense pile of bootycake, so you turn on the shower to find it streaming dookie and then your shower head breaks from all the poop so now your entire bathroom is covered in feces, so you have to take a shower at the nearest YMCA, but when you get outside you realize it’s literally raining little brown droppings and your car starts crapping itself when you try to start it. So you walk down the dung littered street, get to the Y just to find it closed due to a grandiose amount of doo doo kaa kaa. By this point you give up on cleaning yourself of the scat infestation and take your emotionally drained, Scybalum covered self back to your house while you wait for this Intestinal excreta filled day to be over.
But hey, defecation happens.
“The Dude’s irony is ideological stance; he’s a stoner Winnie the Pooh. His mutability reflects Zen mastery.”
—Karina Wolf, "What Makes a Man" (Bright Wall/Dark Room, July 2010)
Click here to watch more from The Colbert Report.
“The boy, the bullied boy, was not a character in the original script. He was actually a thought that I had about wanting to see me as a seven-year-old in the movie. I mentioned it to Marc and the writers. I suggested that we see the exact thing that I needed when I was a seven-year-old, to have it happen to a seven-year-old: Spider-Man showing up to give him the strength to find his own inner-strength, even though he’s this incredibly skinny seven-year-old. I’m really proud of that.” - Andrew Garfield
Artist of the Week - Dave Seeley